Multitasking

Ahh...multitasking. An annoying word, a necessary part of mothering, especially for working moms. Since I had darling C. I have learned to balance 6 or 7 tasks at once and can officially say I do none of it well. For example, right now I'm on a conference call that is boring the little bit of life out of me. Earlier, I was on the phone helping a parent while editing an article and eating a paczki (more on that little Fat--and I mean FAT--Tuesday tradition later). Later, I will be doing laundry while holding the girl and trying to scoop out the litterbox while on the phone with my mom, mouthing instructions to Nate, writing long overdue thank-you notes and thinking about what the hell I'm going to wear tomorrow. And that's just while I'm relaxing. Multitasking means I can organize my life and try to make a hair appointment while commuting, eat while working, grocery shop while out for lunch and do any host of things while behind the wheel of a car. It's dangerous, yes, but sometimes it's the only way to get things done.

Nowhere has multitasking been more necessary than in pumping. I know, I know, I was going to stop talking about my wacked-out breastfeeding/pumping thing so much, but can you be silent on a topic that takes up at least an hour and a half of your day? No, I didn't think so. And don't you want to sing a little bit about the things you do well? I thought so. When it comes to pumping while doing other things, I am the queen. I AM THE MASTER. There are very few things in my life as a mom that I think I'm doing well (Clementine woke up every hour last night, which has me rethinking my whole parenting philosophy), so forgive me for this bellicose pronouncement, but I rock.

Here are the things I can do while I'm pumping:

• Shop/surf online
• Email
• Play with darling C.
• Get the damn cat off the couch or my briefcase
• Talk on the phone
• Watch TV
• Eat and drink

You're not impressed yet, are you? Well read on:

• Participate in conference calls (as soon as I'm done posting this and after I press "mute")
• Move about the cabin, get things off shelves
• Sit at my desk with a colleague and pretend things are normal beneath my wrap
• Give C. her bottle
• Get dressed

Yeah, yeah, still not that impressive. I'm just going for build-up here. What I'm really geeked about is that I can pump while:

• While I drive!! I can pump while driving!!

You can't imagine the time this has been saving me. Sure, it's a little awkward, a little odd, and I have to work hard not to flash the other drivers, especially the ones in SUVs and ridiculously large trucks. But it's totally doable, even while driving stick shift.

Now I don't want to hear how dangerous and irresponsible this is. I am safe, I get my stuff all prepped before the car is in motion and I have my hands free the whole time. And I don't do this while reaching back to pop darling C.'s paci back in her face or anything. It's usually on expressways and when I'm alone in the car. I can't tell you how liberating it is, though. I no longer have to sit in my backseat and pump under my coat when I'm away from home for long periods of time, and I don't have to crouch in strange places when I'm at someone else's house. Welcome to multitasking at its best!

OK, what a lame post for Mardi Gras, but what can I say? I've got a one-track mind these days, and now I have to pump while I continue this mind-numbing call.