My life as an at-home mama

I have taken a few days off in celebration of day care being closed and my being too lazy to think about where else I could take Clementine so I could go to work. Really, though, it seemed a nice excuse to get some good time in with my kid. We weren't a few hours into our time together yesterday, though, before all my happy illusions of how much cleaner my house would be, how much saner I would be, how much happier we would all be together if I just didn't work were totally shattered. As I stood in the living room talking to the cable guy, Clementine got her hands on an open box of Cheerios in the kitchen (still on the counter because you can't CLEAN just because you're home--you're too busy chasing your kid around) and ran around the room shaking it, spilling out streams of cereal all over the floor. Of course the cat was delighted, and Clementine was very proud of herself, especially when she learned what a great noise the cereal makes when you crunch it beneath your feet. The cable guy made a quick exit in horror as I began to clean up the cereal, giving darling C a chance to make a break for it and run up the stairs. Knowing she was in for it as I lumbered over to get her, she hurled a bottle of nail polish (yes, I know, why was it on the stairs? I was trying to straighten, dammit), which broke at the base of our stairs and spilled a lovely blue all over the hard wood. Oh, glory glory.

We hit the zoo yesterday afternoon, which is our favorite place to walk around. I've never been on a weekday, though, and I was a little taken aback at how empty it was. We had fun walking around and having the place almost to ourselves, but it was a little lonely. I am doing my best to make friends with other parents, but I still find it's hard to assume that just because our children are the same age we have something to talk about. And I haven't gotten the groove of WHAT you talk to other parents about--sure, there are kids, but it has been so long since I've made friends with people outside an obvious common interest (grad school, work, etc.) that I don't know how to hit the other elements of conversation and being to wish I had my mom's talent for asking insipid weather-related questions. I realize I sound like an insecure 8th grader, but the mommy world can be a scary one, full of women giving you once-overs or talking loudly and passive-aggressively to their kids as a means of communication with other adults (i.e., "Jared, you'll just have to wait your turn to see the polar bear until that little girl is done hogging the ledge."). I want to give Clementine a peer group (and I'd love to find some people who understand that a 5:30 dinner with high chairs is a rockin' good time), but I also like keeping her to myself and not having to worry about socializing.

This morning we hit some rummage sales, which I've learned is impossible with a child in tow. There is just no way to keep her with me as I sort through old T-shirts or kids clothes, and the toy section was a mess. I could hardly get through housewares without her threatening to break every fragile thing in the room, so we stuck to furniture and linens. I managed to make a few good scores, but we were both happy to get the hell out of there and head down to a play time at a local community center. I know from my sister that things like this exist--places where you can let your kid loose in a gym with lots of toys and other kids, but I hadn't braved it myself. Clementine spent the first twenty minutes just staring at other kids and not really playing or interacting. Then a family we've met just once before showed up, and although she didn't really play with girl, she got a lot more animated. By the time is well past nap time, she refused to put her coat on and cried all the way home. Thank heavens she is now fast asleep.

Truth be told, I could use a nap too. Being at work is a hundred times less work, but it's not nearly as satisfying. I've got to take advantage of her down time to get some stuff done and prepare for what I can only imagine will be a wild afternoon.