So what is the solution? If working full time while Nate does the same isn't right and staying home full time while Nate shoulders the load isn't right, then what is? It should be easier to navigate these tricky waters of working parenthood, and I'm frankly a little bit shocked that it's as difficult as it is since so many working parents have gone before me. Why aren't we demanding more (and in turn, I might argue, giving more back to the workplaces that support us)? If I wasn't trying so hard to balance these precious 9-5 hours every day I would feel like a much better parent, and I know I would be a better worker. This seems like such a no-brainer, and I know I'm not inventing the argument when I say half the at-home moms I meet stay home because they were unable to find the flexibility they need between work and parenting. The "opt-out revolution" has been talked to death, but even though we're able to study the problem from all angles, I don't see many solutions for those of us who can't opt out, who need two incomes, who want to try to make a go of doing both. This system seems so very broken, but I'm not sure it's on anyone's list to fix it, especially when no one's making any noise.
I have no easy answers, but I sure as hell am going to start making some noise at my workplace. I loved my time home with Clementine, but I was happy when work called or I got to get on my email a little and turn on my work brain. For me, it's important to do both, but I want to be able to reap the benefits of both (meaning, I don't want to take a "part time" 30-hour job that is really just as much work but with less pay and no benefits). There are more than enough hours in the day and days in the week for me to do both, and I think if I could have some power in deciding what I do when I would be a much better worker. If nothing else, I think I'd be so damn grateful for the consideration and respect I wouldn't spend part of my work day blogging or running errands I can't find time to run at night. And it goes without saying (right?) that just because I want to do both doesn't mean I don't have a ton of respect for those who choose to do one. I totally made an ass of myself in some of the at-home parenting environments I visited during my work furlough by asking my new friends questions like, "So what do you do?" I swear it was my social awkwardness and not by inability to relate!!
If all else fails in my pursuit to balance parenting and this job, I am coming to realize I'll have to move on and look for a job somewhere else. The people I've met who are making this whole balancing act work are people who either have enough time off through a school schedule, some flex time or just plain not going in until 10 a.m. (ahem--yes, I'm talking about you) or those who work with a non-traditional schedule like adjunct teaching or freelance. I've been afraid to take a leap and leave the security of this job behind, but the trade-off seems especially worth it when I've been reminded what I'm missing. Look at that face when she first saw the polar bear close-up:
5 comments:
The whole work-home conundrum is a sticky wicket, that's for sure. Why aren't working moms demanding more flexibility, and are we even in a position to ask for it? Anyway, good luck! You're not alone.
Andrea does a "job share" where she works from half days 5 days a week. Would your pal Arlys accomodate that? You could hire me and I could telecommute.
Why is C-Dogs so cute?
Right there with you- as usual: http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/chi-0610230154oct23,1,1640387.story?ctrack=1&cset=true. They're based out of other cities but this article might be worth checking out. I'm thinking of "taking the leap" and leaving myself. How many times have I said that, though? Precious picture.
I love your child. You know, in pictures, anyway, which is the only way I've met her.
Adjuncts don't make jack (same as that 30hr/wk) and telecommuting doesn't really give you more time with C (I'd say it takes more time in my experience). I don't know what can really be done outside of working opposite hours from your partner and that just creates a whole new set of problems.
As Moon is preparing to go back to work, these concerns are popping up again. We both have non-traditional schedules, which don't help. She'll be putting in at least 10hr days 5-7 days a week. I'm the one with a lot more flexibility, but with the above options you still have choose between doing the work and spending time with your kid. If anyone can do both at once, bless you. When I try it Sammy ends up rebooting my computer (don't know how, I think he's a prodigy) :)
I'd love to hear any suggestions.
Dan
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