That I didn’t title this post “Why I’m the worst mother ever” shows only that I’ve come a long way since crying like a baby when the pediatric orthopedic doctor told me Clementine’s arm was fractured in two places and that he might have to sedate her in order to set it. It’s not that I feel guilty for letting her fall off the couch (OK, I do feel guilty about that, but kids fall, right?). It’s that I SENT HER TO DAY CARE this morning with a fractured arm. After she fell last night and cried a while, she seemed just fine. Well, she seemed like she was in pain at first, but there was no swelling, she was still using the arm and I just didn’t sense in my gut that there was something broken. We read the books, checked the internet, called my sister, but it seemed like it would be crazy to rush her to the emergency room like insane, overprotective parents. Why not give it a night, see how she was doing in the morning and call the pediatrician? Nice gut instincts, huh? I feel terrible and have been replaying every second between her falling off hte couch and finally calling the doctor to see if I really did miss a big sign. The doctors were all very nice in telling me that it's hard to tell with kids, especially if they can't talk and seem as happy as she did. This did not make me feel all that better, but I did talk to another mom whose daughter had fractures for three days before they got an x-ray. It made me feel a little better. But not really.
When I neglectfully dropped darling C. off this morning I asked Julie to keep a close eye on her and she called me within 3 hours to say something wasn’t right. At that point I hadn't seen CLementine awake for three hours since the fall, so that's what I keep telling myself. Julie isn't more caring or more attentive than I. Is she? Her call is how we ended up calling to Dr. and then getting x-rays and then being shuttled to the ER where we got MORE x-rays before they put a cast on her. With hindsight I see thiswhole event is not such a big deal (her life was never in danger), part of being a parent and all that, but it breaks my heart that my tiny, lovely little daughter who is not even 1 ½ years old has a broken bone. I cringe even more when I think that she went almost 24 hours before someone put a cast on it so it would stop hurting her.
Other than a total freak-out both times she was x-rayed and constant crying while the doctor (whom she called “cocktor”) put on the cast, the girl was a trooper. She handled the waiting with a sweet sense of humor, and she charmed all the patients waiting in the ER. The kid went hours without food but was still sweet as a peach. What did I ever do to deserve such a love? We let her eat Mac and Cheese and didn’t force the veggies when we finally made it home for dinner, we read her all the books she wanted and eventually left her asleep (uncomfortably) in her own bed. See? We’re still committed to her own bed. Of course in retrospect all the bitching I did this morning about what a shitty night’s sleep we had last night seems exceptionally cruel when I see now that she was probably calling out to idiot parents that she was IN PAIN, not just that she missed them.
I feel like I’ve been initiated into a new circle of the parenting club—more than half the other people in the ER were parents with kids in various splints, casts, slings and band aids. And we all survived. But know what my sister said to me on the way home? “Oh my god, you’re totally that mother with her kid in the cast.” Hmmm. I guess am. Poor little monkey. Time to break out the summer clothes!
10 comments:
That is not fair!
You are a wonderful mother! You at least supervise your kid, I just let mine play with choking hazzards. Your neices should be in casts not your baby!
T-shirts are coming post haste!
Oh, mama! I'm so sorry to hear that your girl got hurt. She looks like she's having tons of fun, though...so I know things are Ok. Her big girl bed looks awesome and her cast and new vocab words are the coolest.
It's not your fault, by the way. Please remind me when my daughter slices an appendage, ok? It's not your fault.
PS- Did you get your camera fixed? Yay!
Okay, dude, check this out:
1) My mom fell and broke her arm when she was a kid, and my grandparents had the family eat dinner before they took her to the hospital. And there was no mistaking the fact that she'd broken her arm. I think it was pointing the wrong way or something.
2) I crawled around with my entire left leg in a cast when I was 10 months old. And I'm just fine. Except for that permanent bent knee.... kidding! Clementine will be fine, too. She's already fine--just look at her! Yes, kids fall. You're not a bad mother.
I think this stuff happens to the best mom's just to keep us in check! (Like how I included myself in there?)
Janie broke both of her wrists at 15months old. The kicker is that I am not completely certain how it happen. By the time I took her in, they were 90% healed and there was nothing they could do. They said the fractures were probably several weeks old. Is that the mommy of the year story or what? Guess what? She is totally fine and loves telling the story now.
Guilt is a useless emotion so move on and just love your baby!
I'm sorry you all had to go through that! You sound like a great mom; I admire you for trying to remember that right now.
When I was 6, I broke both bones in my legs under the supervision of a babysitter. Despite the fact that the leg did not look good and I could and did talk and cry, my parents believed the babysitter's dismissal and didn't take me in to a doctor for 24 hours. The leg is fine and I still love my parents very much! Try not to worry.
I broke my arm when I was a kid, and my parents went out to dinner after getting me casted up. However, I did manage to convince them that an "arm fairy" should visit me and leave me a dollar under my pillow for my troubles, and to let me decorate my cast however I want it. The pictures are quite revolting becuase I kept coloring and coloring until it was an inky mess...still, I remember it as completely fun!
When I think of ALL the close calls I've had with my girl...you're doing GREAT! Your kid loves you.
I totally think you need to fix that skeleton sweatshirt so that it has a broken arm too!
That said, I don't know how many times as a kid I was told to "sleep on it" or "toughen up, you big sissy" (okay, maybe not that), only to wind up in a sling or with stitches the next day. Or how many times I went to the ER, only to have the doctor roll his eyes (why? we financed his bentley) and tell us that we should have waited until morning. Isn't parenting, for lack of a better term, a crapshoot? You do what you think is best, and sometimes it is, sometimes you think you should have chosen another option. The point is, you have a wonderful kid who obviously handled this one like a champ.
Now, be prepared for the holier-than-thou moms to look at you all weird, child protective services number already programed into their cell!
Oh Clementine! But just look at how hardcore she looks now. yet still insanely sweet.
Coming out of lurking mode to say hello.Your daughter is a cutie. Please don't beat yourself up over not taking her to the Dr. right away. My very good friend let her toddler son walk around on a broken foot for two days. It happens. Little ones bounce around and make it hard to notice the severity of an injury sometimes.
I am so glad that you still retain the ideals that hark back to our sun-drenched days on the streets of Maple and Church st. I am so sorry that your beautiful girl (Whose picture En and I marvel at everyday) bounced off the couch, but you need not be colored guilty on this one, my dear! We lived in the glorious days when helmets weren't required and you could kick a kid in the nuts without getting sued.
Muah. Best New years wishes to you, Nate and Clem.
Ty
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